Smile

Female, age 41 – (click on image to enlarge)

I don’t like the way my face is “changing.” I didn’t expect it in the places it’s happening, and I’m sure there will be more surprises in the future.  I don’t expect the surprises to be anything nice. I want to buy all of the really expensive anti-aging products, all of them.  Because I am sure that each is a miracle in a bottle that will shore up my eyelids, get rid of the bags and what-have-you.

I see my role as excellent girlfriend, librarian, native San Franciscan, a dying breed. I’ve always seen my role in society as a native San Franciscan, but aside from that, I think I was really out for a good time and didn’t really care about my role.  I did once see myself as a wife, but that was for a brief, unpleasant time.

No, I have not accomplished what I’d hoped to.  I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything. I think that a lack of direction, or focus, prevented me from accomplishing things.  Being from a working-class family and knowing that money opens doors for people, held me back from doing some things. I should have tried to do them anyway.  I’m not a victim of the blue collar. Regarding things I would have done differently…I would have studied harder and gone to better schools.

I’m most proud of the progress I am making as a weight lifter, real, hardcore, no joke weight lifting. I’ve never been stronger and I never dreamed that I could lift heavier than some men.  I didn’t know that I had the strength or mental discipline for it.  When I have a good training session, and someone asks how I am, I tell them, “I was strong today.” I train with one of the top 100 trainers in the country, and he tells me that I am strong all the time.

Regarding the aging process…we can’t stop time. It’s coming for my face and my body, and I can only fight it to a degree.  Eventually, it will get me.  I would like to be able to say, “as long as I have my health…” and mean it.  But I don’t.  I don’t mean it at all.

I don’t have a bucket list.  I should probably have one so that in 10 or 20 years I don’t find myself again saying that I haven’t accomplished  anything due to a lack of direction or focus.

 

 

Activating the collective power and wisdom of women to change our terrain forever

© 2011 The Terrain Project.