Reflection

Female, age 51 – (click on image to enlarge)

I like and enjoy each decade better than the one before. We each find certain harbingers, though, the sagging chin and the softening jaw. Plastic surgery has always been unacceptable (to me), but I may go there. I welcome the crone. We can be juicy at any age. I don’t like my knees going though.

Most of my roles in life do not fit with the dominant cultural norms. I am definitely a friend to many, sibling and daughter, aunt, etc. To many, many young woman I remain mentor, even as they grow well past high school years.  Archetypally speaking, I am definitely moving toward crone status. I think I have always been consistent in my social roles. Certainly I was far more stupid in my 20’s, and far more socially engaged.

My life has never followed ‘normal’ channels, so I never had concrete expectations. Oh, I did think that I was going to write the Great American Novel (no sign of it so far), and I suppose I would have expected to have children and a husband, but at no point did I actually SEEK children or a husband, so I must not have wanted them much.  More like I just thought I was supposed to want them. What I REALLY wanted was to live a free-spirited and art-filled life, which I have. My mother never asked me when I was going to get married.  That is an amazing burden to which I was never subjected.  She really wanted me to be even more adventurous than I was, I suspect.  She and my grandmother really encouraged me to express myself, and to be as weird as I wanted, mostly.

I am proud of the many ways in which I have helped young women transform themselves.

The aging process is inevitable, and it is a perennial surprise to the person aging.  One’s internal self, it is manifestly evident, maintains its youthful outlook, desires, and perspective.  There is a series of “How on Earth Did THIS Happen?!” moments that refresh one’s humility and provide a fulcrum for propelling oneself into greater wisdom.

My bucket list…flying in a hot air balloon is pretty high on my list. Also I’m searching for a good glass-casting course. I try to do things as they come into my awareness. I would love to live in a communal compound with 10 or so of my closest friends.  I would love to have a working garden.

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© 2011 The Terrain Project.