My husband spent the weekend at my new house. I’d moved away several months earlier to give him some space. I thought if we were ever going to get back together, it could only happen if I left him alone for a while. Yeah, I know, I secretly hoped he would miss me and call, begging me to return, but that didn’t happen. So when he called to say he was coming for the weekend to see my new house, I was elated.
All of my initial excitement evaporated like a leaky balloon when he put his travel bag in my guest room. I knew then that nothing had changed. The weekend was pleasant. We had always been better friends than lovers and that is what we were left with now, a great friendship that would remain intact.
When his visit ended, I waved good-bye to his car leaving my driveway and my heart sank to the ground like an anvil. I knew it was over. Forever friends, we would never be getting back together. It was 10:00 am and I wanted to die. Yes, I am ashamed to say this now, but I really wanted to die that day.
I walked back into my kitchen and looked down at my dog happily snoring, chasing some interesting prize in her dreams. I realized how terrible it would be for her if I killed myself. I lived alone in a rural area. She would have to wait days possibly until someone found my body.
I adopted this sweet-tempered dog to give her a better life than the one she had lived so far. At 5 years of age, she had spent the majority of her life locked in a cage at a puppy mill. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her, a chubby, fawn colored boxer. She makes me laugh on a daily basis. I am convinced she came into my life to show me how silly all my of worries are and to remind me not to take life so seriously. I knew at that moment had she not been there, I would have done something awful, possibly ending my life.
No, not today, I thought as I grabbed her leash and said, “Let’s go for a walk.” She was already at the door before I could finish my sentence. I knew then, no matter what happens, I will always care for this kind, furry friend who saved me from myself on that sad day.
© 2016 The Terrain Project.